There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
