he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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