i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
