It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
