I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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