Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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