She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
What drink are we having for lunch?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
