we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
