Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Acid is not a monday night drug
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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