I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
