i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize