Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
sex in a hospital.. check
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
