She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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