I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
