last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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