There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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