he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
The air was thick with penises
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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