I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Randomize
