HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
