dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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