She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
