If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
