So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize