I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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