just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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