It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Randomize
