Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
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