The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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