i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
oh god was she eating orange peels again
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
