so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
