This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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