no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
