doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Randomize
