someone threw a dead crab at me
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
