Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize