Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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