exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
she looked like the before picture.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
