I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
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