Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
