he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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