I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I supernannyed him into submission
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
