Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
