i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
