Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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