He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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