So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
