Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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