belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
my phone needs a breathalizer
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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