I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
