My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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