I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
