my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
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