my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
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So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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