she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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