Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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