We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize
