I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
