my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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